Time to GO!

The stress and anxiety caused by the stress, putting aside the depression and the fatigue, finally prompted Chriss to ask for help. In the nearby run down market town, Chriss found a hypnotherapist who was not particularly good, as it turned out Chriss was not hypnotisable, but at least she listned and treated Chriss as a fellow human being someone with a soul!
Chriss visited the hypnotherapist a number of times, but found the treatment difficult to get into as she was only able to listen to the tapes she was given whilst driving to and from the nursery.

She would often quote certain things to herself to boost her confidence during the day and to help her believe in herself once more, but eventually events got the better of her attempts to improve her life at the nursery and things became worse, much, much worse.

Chriss drove a Mazda, a lovely red sporty car with a roof that rolled back and down. This was a car hard won, the first and only car she had ever bought for herself and a car that cost her much energy and hard work. Chriss loved this car, it was more than a car, it was personal to her, every little nook and cranny was lovingly cared for in the car and the car had wonderful memories for her.....driving down sunny, Surrey lanes the sun beaming on her head and face and her favourite music blaring out. It was like a huge motorised bicycle with music....one could touch the energy as one was driving down the country lanes.

This particular morning Chriss was in a rush....she had to get to the nursery fast, she had got up late, she was tired already before she started and woke up with heavy eyes and head. This is how she felt most days now and Peter was concerned about her. She was finding it more and more difficult to get off to sleep at night - her heavy head always buzzing and thinking of other things.

She started up the car, put it in reverse and 'SMASH', she flew into the front of the heavy, rusty metal skip which in her hurry, she did not see. She stopped, turned off the engine and sobbed.
'Oh my god'. Getting out of the car she viewed the damage and what damage!
'We will have to send it to be repaired' Peter told her, with a cuddle.
'Oh my god' Chriss replied, her head in her hands
She had spoiled the one thing she was so proud of, the one thing she had purchased by herself after working so hard and she felt devastated. 'How can I feel this about a car?' she told herself,
Chriss understood what was happening...she felt as if her whole life was being wrecked by nasty, rusty old people and there was a panic inside of her and a feeling of despair and desperation.

'I don't want to go anymore' she commented to Peter.
'I know' he replied

The day before, was the session with Tracy's father which was far from pleasant and yet another reason for Ofsted to come down and to put her through the questioning procedure. Two Ofsted ladies came as if she was going to put up a fight and she felt overwhelmed by them. The power behind Ofsted was enormous, but she was determined not to let it affect her and she was not going to be frightened by their reactions.

Tracy's father was another shouter, another pointer another nasty piece of work. He accused Chriss of 'doing things behind closed doors' with a wagging finger in her face.
'What are you talking about' Chriss asked politely.
'I know what goes on here, I've seen that BBC programme!' he added.
'I don't take any notice of television anymore, I know my nursery and I know how to run it' Chriss replied.
'I know what is going on here and I am reporting you' he shouted wagging his finger again.
Chriss looked at the finger, 'whats with the wagging?' she thought to herself quietly.
The man rose from his seat and stormed out of the door and Chriss sat there for a moment thinking. 'What am I doing here?' she asked herself. It was all too much!

The Ofsted Inspectors, two of them as usual, arrived a few days later.
'We've had several complaints' they told Chriss.

Whilst asking questions about the mice infestation and the event with the Montessori Teacher and the fact that the staff were extremely unhappy according to a number of mothers and the fact that Montessori methods were taught and parents didn't agree with it....one of the Inspectors walked towards the staff in the room next door and started to chat with them.
'Excuse me, what are you doing?' Chriss rose from her seat. 'these are my staff, I hire them and I look after them, what do you think you are doing without my permission too?'
The Inspector looked at Chriss disrespectfully and answered 'I am talking to your staff, do you mind?'.
'Well, yes I do' Chriss said
'Well I am allowed to unless you have something to hide' the Inspector replied.

Well, the Inspectors were there for over 4 hours and spent most of the time talking to the staff whilst Chriss struggled to look after the children alone. She could not believe the irony of it....if Ofsted were notified by a parent that Chriss was alone looking after 2 babies and 15 children on her own she would have been in deep trouble - and yet here she was in her nursery which she had purchased with hard earned money - with two Ofsted Inspectors chatting with her staff who were at that time being paid to do nothing and she was expected to look after the children alone. She was furious!

Enough was enough and after the Inspectors had left, with a warning that they wished to see Chriss privately next Saturday morning at 10.0am at the nursery and that she had better be there - she felt she did not wish to continue any further with the nursery. Enough was enough and it was time to stand up to these awful Inspectors, the parents and the ex-owner (another story) and simply drop everything and go!

Chriss did not go to the interview and she refused to contact Ofsted to explain why. Chriss did not talk with the staff about her thoughts and feelings and she did not speak with the parents.
The last day was like any other day and she was ready to give back what was fed to her through the year of nursery hell.

A few days after the nursery was closed Chriss had a phone call from a friend.
'Quick Chriss, you must get to the nursery now, the staff are stealing everything!'
Chriss and Peter rushed in the car, but it was too late. The staff (a small number of them) had stolen the new dishwasher, the scanner, photocopier and printer. Several pieces of furniture were missing and even the children's fish in their fish bowls (cold water fish with filtration systems) had vanished. Chriss never really understood the reason certain members of staff would literally hire a van and steal from her. She had given them so much and had been so kind to them, but in Norfolk people do strange things if they do not accept you.

It did not matter anymore, the nursery was closed, the doors no longer open, everything Chriss had worked hard for was gone, but it was her decision and she felt she had made the right decision.

'Did you know' Chriss commented to Peter as they stood in the barns that were the nursery
'Did you know they threatened me, they tried to take away my dignity and my confidence and thank god I didn't let them' Chriss added.
She had only 2 weeks ago taken a drive down to a Montessori school which was closing in a little village about 15 miles away and had met the head teacher there who was trying to sell her Montessori equipment. She was invited by Elsie to go and see this lovely lady who must have been in her late 50's. This teacher spent many years reading to the children in her care from an old children's book that belonged to her grandmother, and the children loved the book and they loved its history and its worn out pages and its dated black and white pictures. It was read with love and respect each day to the children and it was a wonderful thing for the teacher to experience and to pass on ... a story that her grandmother had read to her many times.

She showed Chriss the book, Chriss took it carefully in her hands and felt the wonderful energy eminating from this much loved book. No wonder the children loved it so much, they feel this kind of thing.

'Ofsted ordered me to stop reading the book' the head teacher told Chriss, with a sadness in her eyes.

'Why?' Chriss asked.

'Because it is too dated and dirty' she replied.
'I love this book, it will always be with me, and the children loved it too'
'Oh so sad' the teacher said shaking her head.

Chriss held her arm, 'I know what you have been through, I am going through the same thing' she added reassuringly. 'I think it is a wonderful book, and I know my children would love this'.
Chriss handed the book carefully back to this mature and experienced teacher and Chriss felt a loving respect for such a woman who had done such great work for 25 years a Montessorian indeed.

After Chriss had said goodbye and with a heavy heart drove along the sunny lanes to home, she said to herself 'where is the respect in this world now, the honouring of those who have dedicated themselves to such hard and rewarding work, and what right do these people have to take that away?'

She was drawing closer to the thought of going even more, as she felt her work was done and she did not wish to be so appallingly treated by these dishonourable dictators of fashion. Ofsted and Playgroups were in fashion now and they did not like or accept other methods of early education.

Sadly this story is not a lone story, it is a story amongst other stories, making one big story, the loss of freedom of teaching and the disrespect of a highly respectable method of teaching and its dedicated teachers in this country. Many small and privately owned schools have since closed through this degradation process and have since been rapidly replaced by their 'centres of excellence' as they have been called, with all power and money behind them and all the benefits this brings.

Oh so sad, that children no longer have the opportunity to learn holistically and to learn to care for each other and their environment and are no longer able to experience the feeling of work well done of self respect for themselves and each other.
Chriss knew she was just another name on their list of the undesirables.

Soon after the non attendance at this so called interview on the Saturday morning, Ofsted withdrew Chriss's registration. She could have fought for it, but she was tired and had no more fight in her.

Then, the poison letters started to arrive....